The Weatherman
Once upon a time at a small TV station in a medium-sized town in the Mid-Western United States there was a weatherman. He was a competent meteorologist and after studying national weather bureau data and other local sources would appear nightly on television and, as accurately as most forecasters, predict the weather conditions.
One night, to his amazement, a miraculously beautiful spiritual vision overcame him. He was shown the total unity of purpose of man in his search for truth. He saw that God is - and through the revelation recognized that he had the power to make absolute and inevitably perfect predictions.
Deciding to test his newly acquired talent, on the 6:00 weather the following night, he forthrightly made the incredible prediction that beginning at the end of his broadcast and for a 24 hour period, no precipitation of any kind would fall on the earth. Not rain, not snow, not sleet, not hail, not anything, not anywhere. And sure enough the miracle happened. Hour after hour passed and as the deadline approached all reporting stations confirmed the total absence of moisture of any kind. The earth trembled at the prospect of perfection. Fortunately, at the last moment, a flock of high flying birds plopped on a Bulgarian wheat farmer. The weatherman immediately became the target of intense criticism, was attacked, derided and scorned and forced to resign from the station.
Three days later, rejected, despondent and friendless, he was run over by a taxi in downtown Cleveland and killed.
Following his death his near perfect prediction became legend. And his martyrdom verified, he was proposed for Sainthood and canonized in record time.
He is known as the Soothsaying Saint and is venerated as the patron of Fortune Tellers, Clairvoyants, Religious Prophesiers, Economic Advisors, Market Analyzers, Bookmakers and of course Weatherpersons.
